sunshine sunday biscuits: July 2009

So I told you that losing my virginity was simply a goal I had set and the time had come to check it off my to-do list. The sadness of that didn’t hit me until a few months later, in bed with another stranger I had picked up at another bar, an Italian, this one, who asked for my sexual origin story and held me and said that that was not how it should be, that I should have a boyfriend who loved me who I could make love to multiple times a day and who could teach me and help me learn what I liked, and, and…I cried in this man’s arms. It wasn’t right, I thought, but it was true. What could I say? That no one showed up for me, that no one liked me enough, that maybe no one felt that I was worth the risk, so I took my own.